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Boiling anger and cum. [Oct. 2nd, 2006|03:57 am]
[Current Location |HOME GODDAMNIT.]


Its one thing to be stood up, and its another to be stood up in the middle of a bloody downpour.

Alright, so it was just a slight drizzle and I was seething in anger right below a bus shelter. But it just irks me to be the idiot, sitting at a vacant bus shelter in the middle of the night having people idling the night away at McDonalds give you funny stares.

Eat your goddamn burger and stop staring, asswipes.

Its funny how life goes in a way that its trying to make a point with the most impossible methods. Simply sick humour.

So I met this really hot malay guy through the net, roaring with cum but lacks a mouth to deposit all that protein goodness into and I happen to own a willing mouth. And we hooked up soon after we decided on a destination and a time. The district was nearby, the guy was hot and I needed to relieve all that cum built up all day.

Well that's what happens when you think with your balls. Everything is just bloody delusional and you end up blowing $20 on cab trips only to find out after a half an hour wait that the guy is probably sitting behind the computer, pointing at your photo and cackling in delight.

I'm a cheap whore, so they say. True I never admitted to that fact but neither did I deny it. Well I don't want to digress into the matter anymore. What's done is done and I have had my fair share of standing other guys up, so like they say - what comes around goes around.

Fuck you Alicia Keys.
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(no subject) [Sep. 30th, 2006|12:17 am]
[Current Mood |gratefulgrateful]
[Current Music |Citizen Cope - If There's Love]

If I can get any more excited than I am now (which is virtually impossible), I might just land myself in a state of stroke.

Well let's not rush into the details, shall we?

My day started out in the corner of town, in a small, quaint little cafe. Meeting up with V was.. how would I put it - bittersweet. Its nice to catch up with old friends once in a while but when it comes to V, I can only spend an hour or two with her before she starts becoming this annoying little monster bitch she always has been, and will always be.

If bestfriend wasn't there I would have punched her right there and then but for the sake of the old clique, I had to shut up and pretend to empathize with her as she goes on and on about how she's single now and the previous boyfriend was such a darling but at the same time a bastard because he dumped her.

Let's face the facts, girl. If I had to tolerate a girlfriend who constantly leeches on my money and fags, switches her voice to this I'm-bratty-because-I-want-those-emo-and-at-the-same-time-cool-looking-checkered-shirts everytime she wants things done her way, not only would I dump her I would knock her unconscious and ship her to a third world country.

Seriously, I have simply no recollection how I even started talking to this girl who desperately wants people to think she's emo and that every mismatching piece of clothing she wears makes her a fashion icon. Draw Get a clue, bitch.

Somehow I just knew meeting her today would not be too swell of an idea but bestfriend insisted and she's having her menses so.. go figure.

After V left (Thank God and amen), bestfriend and I met up with Emily and Beyonce at the other end of town. I've never loved any colleagues as much as I loved those two. Beyonce (not her real name, thankfully) often tries to make us believe she's actually Tyra Banks hiding under a brown, muslim skin but methinks her almost dwarve-like height gives everything away. Emily (not her real name too), on the other hand is just too cool for school. She reminds me of Emily the Strange. She's angsty, weird and has enough connections to bring the whole Republic of China together.

Ok so here comes the part which I'm so radically excited about. Emily managed to hook me and Beyonce up to be writers on this ezine that a local online apparel store wants to start. Initially I wasn't exactly interested because I thought it'd be pages after pages of catalogues featuring their products but the meeting proved otherwise.

The meeting, which included another editor (pretty cute indian jock.. *shrieks*) and a photographer who is a year ahead of me in my course discussed the content of our first issue. The theme is pretty confusing, leaving me and Beyonce with a whole loads of question but everytime we ask one we're answered with another few other doubts.

But nevertheless, its a super cool gig and I am so for it. Honestly speaking this is a virgin experience for me - my first article, my first byline, my first shot at editorials. It kind of sparked something in me that regained the interest I lost in media studies.

I have currently ended my freshmen year of pursueing a diploma in mass communications and the first semester was sadly a disappointing ride. I was thrown into chapters after chapters of fundamentals, boring digits and facts. I know it is crucial for me to lay out a solid fundamental in my first year but it can get so. Fucking. Boring.

At times I feel like going up to my tutor and putting my hands around his thick, fat neck to shut him up with his history of communications and the status quo.

I know it may sound abit cocky, having this come from a first year mass communicaiton students but I can't help it, it puts me to sleep and I'm never motivated to turn up early, or rather, at all.

But this gig Emily hooked me up with has redeemed the whole perception I had for the past few months. I am excited, can't wait and am roaring to go.

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STBY. [Sep. 29th, 2006|01:25 am]
[Current Location |Whorepit.]
[Current Mood |draineddrained]

I decided to have another meet up with P again in the afternoon before I headed off to work. (See what I mean when I say I have virtually no friends left?) There wasn't much conversations made since we just had like a dozen the night before. It was just me and him outside a little Starbucks cafe, me with my cigaratte and him with my magazine.

I was glad there was something to keep him occupied while I stare at random passer-bys, occasionally sneaking a few at him. Hmm, I don't know. Being the goddamn religious prick of a motherfucker he is, he is certainly as straight as a flagpole, if not even more.


Physically he's attractive in his own ways, but there is something off-limit about friends, especially people I've grown accustomed to be comfortable with. But then again, it is the forbidden fruit that many often seek after knowing they're bound to failure and disappointment, isn't it?

Sigh, the cake's always sitting there, all for taking but its never easy to sink my teeth into it.

Anyway Starbucks serve a terrible iced latte. If not for the hazelnut shots I might as well have been drinking horse pee. Note to self: Stick to the frappes next time, jerk.

Work was alright, I guess.

I guess. The moment I stepped into the bar the morning barista, K started on with her wailing moans about every possible event that has not gone her way the entire morning. Twas horrible, I tell you - having to nod and work my face to look like I fucking care.

The moment K and her sidekick cashier left, I knew all the information just fed to me had to be described in vivid details with colours and dramatic hand actions to my sidekick, the night cashier but she was an hour to breaking fast so the both of us had to hold it all in till an hour later when it would be legal for her to bitch, eat and have sex.

Poor muslims, first they get stereotyped to have bombs tucked neatly into their tudongs, and now they have to starve from food, gossips and cum for a whole fucking month.

Well, well - sucks to be you.
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A Well Deserved Night Out and Old Friends. [Sep. 28th, 2006|01:24 am]
[Current Mood |melancholymelancholy]
[Current Music |Dashboard Confessional - Stolen]

Sometimes radio-friendly hits like Hoobastank and Avril Lavinge are really your best companions on a bus ride home from a somehow awkward night out.

Tonight felt really TGIF-ish, although its wednesday but having the night off for me has become a rare, precious gem. No pork ribs to serve or Oreo Minty Shakes to blend, but it also brought an urgent issue to my attention.

I have lost ALL my friends.

I have once too often neglected them for work or to pull out a few hours of my hectic yet nevertheless, boring life to pleasure a random guy with blowjobs and handjobs. Rejections to head out for a game of pool or a cuppa coffee have been blurted out of my mouth too many times and my presence has eventually creeped out of their lives.

Its sad, but I can't blame anyone but myself for my own mistake.

Watching myself sitting on the sofa after work, making random phonecalls to people on my phonebook in hope of getting them out of wherever they are to meet me, it was pathetic. I looked pathetic.

I ended up hanging out with P in town, stumped by rejections from many. It was nice to finally catch up with him. I did something I wouldn't exactly term 'unexpected'. I more or less realised when I came out to my friends about my bisexuality, I would need his approval one day.

Maybe 'need' would be too strong of a term, its more of hoping to have his approval because it means quite alot to me. P is a friend who.. hmm.. let's just say if I was a cross he would be a straight and erected tick. He is an extremely devoted Christian, words of Christianity often hangs by his mouth, yet I am the angsty atheist, unable to last a day without condemning Jesus and his 12 really tall dwarves.

And believe it or not, we click pretty well. He laughs to my insults of Christianity and I roll my eyes to his God talk. People who don't know us better perceive me as an insensitive prick but P knows otherwise. Though up till now I don't really believe he has never been bothered by my disturbing remarks about Jolly Jesus.

Anyway, back to the topic.

We were sitting at an al fresco cafe somewhere along the city and I was trying to find the right words and at the same time the right moment to let it rip. And it came pretty sudden, in the middle of a conversation.

"I'm bisexual, ya know?"

It was a short case of silence attack, but P being the guy he has always been quickly saved the incoming awkwardness.

"So which guy do you like?" It was followed by a weak laugh from his part but I looked at his eyes and everything came through. If I was any more tense I would have leaped out of my chair and punch my fist into the air like they always do in Disney channel. But I took it as calmly as he did, surprisingly.

The rest of the night went smoothly, him being cool about the whole thing and me being grateful.

A sour note strung though, when the night started to come to an end. I had this stupid idea of heading down to the airport to meet a few of our other friends, friends I used to hold very close to my heart. But things, as usual, fucked up and now to them I'm just another accquaintance. Sad, but the choice has long been out of my control.

Meeting up with them slowly seemed like a bad idea as the seconds ticked by. It was a feeling of being neglected, this cold vibe I was getting from them. I couldn't relate to the jokes we used to laugh and giggle to before, I couldn't sit beside H without him giving me the disapproving stare. To an extent I'd say it was downright annoying.

Sometimes I wonder if it was worth the humility and trouble to salvage the friendship that I pushed away in the first place. Whether I deserve a second chance, or rather if I want that second chance. I may not be exactly thrilled with what I have now, but at least its something I can comform with.

This, I don't know. And truthfully, I don't really care.
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A New Rant. [Sep. 27th, 2006|02:27 am]
[Current Mood |grumpygrumpy]

This feels really awesome.

A new rant, new layout and a whole new fresh concept. I will blow you away with my awesome entries and it just feels totally cool to be here, telling lies right through my aching tooth.

This blows.

I don't like changes, and withdrawing from a public blog which I have been comfortable with for a year or so and having to lose contact with all the readers I garnered along the way is what I would call - a change.

However, the whole staleness of the blog was getting to me. I was trying to dig any exciting moments out of my life to liven up the little online diary, but it all amounted to a big fat zilch. Like my life, the only direction it was heading coincides with gravity, and I'm not a big fan of that either.

Thus this. And my first entry ends right about.. now. :D
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